I’ve run family support groups for people caring for someone with dementia and/or Parkinson’s disease for many years. The group composition has always included people of all ages and not distinguished by category; i.e., spouse, parent. There has been a shift to younger participants in the past 10 years; the “sandwich generation” seeking support as they juggle family and work along with caring for a parent or other elderly relative or, more recently, a young spouse or siblin

Before this year’s December holidays, members of the support group I run talked about how they were going to celebrate. Most said it would be low-keyed, close to home but festive. That was an important key. Holidays are a time to side-line caregiving duties long enough to make a good meal, enjoy visitors, family; to laugh, to feel refreshed and prepared for the new year. But at our recent meeting a member who hadn’t attended for a while came. Usually quiet, she needed to

Holidays bring out the best and worse in caregivers and people who have experienced a recent lost. The inclination may be to spend holidays in a dark room, chase people away with “bah humbug” or worse, refuse to have a part in the festivities. We can’t be happy all the time but being present with family and friends can be more healing than ignoring the feelings that lurk beneath the surface. As hard as it may be, embracing traditions can, in the long run, be comforting as i

We know that dementia can turn a sweet person sour and angry and an angry person quiet, compliant.

Losing someone to a long term chronic illness can stretch families to the edge; you watch the gradual loss of capacity and at the same time take on increased responsibilities. It’s easier when the ill person handles their losses with grace and even humor; harder when they become angry and fight, frightened at the prospect of a life foreshortened. Family – the ones closest - are the recipient of that anger; after all, who else would stand for it. “Well", caregivers say, “a

A couple of months ago I received a call from a lawyer asking that I do an assessment on a woman who had been deemed ineligibile by Medicaid to stay at the assisted living facility where she lived for the past 3 years. The State claimed she was no longer medically eligible for community Medicaid (MLTSS). Susan, her sister-in-law Brenda reported, had had emotional, mental and medical difficulties from childhood and needs to be in a supportive environment and this judgement wa